Dream a little Dream of Me...

Yesterday was weird. I was all over the place, and I was drunk doing it.

I got fired. I felt that I was supposed to spend the day drinking. So I did.

I went crazy with text-messaging. I even texted Ian (and no, Daniel, it was not the more suggestive type of text message that I wanted to send the other night). And in true Nice Guy form, he did not text back. He called.

Once again, knocked off my ass by being treated kindly.

I talked to Jaime. I talked to Lyle. I talked to Chloe. I talked to Marina (who is helping me with my resume--she's says I'm "very marketable" aka, I look good on paper. Urine, apparently, is an entirely different story.) I talked to Julie (New York Julie, not senorita Julz). I talked to Dru. Hell, I even talked to Sleazy.

"You didn't really want to work there, anyway."

I know. But a gym membership would have been nice. So would a 401K.

I passed out before American Idol even finished. Drinking slowly yet steadily all day can wear a girl out.

I had the most fucked up dream. There was a lot of sex in it, and all in very odd situations. There were two different guys (not at the same time) and both are vastly different choices. All my friends showed up and were happy I had hooked up with one, and didn't know I had hooked up with the other. There was a game where everyone was hung from scaffolding and regulated by an army of robot Nicole Kidmans. I shit you not. I hung on there and started throwing corn on the cob to hit the scaffolding near the bottom and corn just went flying. It exploded. Freda complimented my skills (yup, Freda made an appearance). Then me and one of my male companions climbed up into this abandoned warehouse with a beautiful look-out where apparently we had messed around before. In January. So said the girl who came with us, who complained she didn't know how to kiss (and if I revealed who the girl was, you bust out laughing because I'm sure she has had much kissing experience). And so I planted one on her. We have a threesome (the second one I had in the dream, just so you know) and then she leaves and Boy 2 has the power to turn into Boy 1 and keeps fucking with me (I suppose while fucking me). Then I'm freaking out because Julie (senorita Julz) wanted me to pick up wine for our camping trip with the girls for my birthday. And I'm whining because I don't want to pick up wine, I shouldn't have to, it's my birthday. And then I'm freaking out because I need to find wine that comes in a plastic bottle because we can't have glass at the camp site. I give up and buy beer and try to stuff it into my NYSE bag.

Then I wake up. It's the temp agency calling me at 7:30 am to tell me they don't have anything for me today. Well, fine. But did you have to wake me? I was getting a lot of ass in my dream and it was awesome. Now the moment is ruined because I know it was a dream.

Abby is right. Reality is so not the best option.