Sinners and Saints Come From the Same Place

I know, I know. It has been a while. It has been a bit crazy over in Crazyville. Not surprising. Not nearly as cool as Margaritaville, but we do what we can.

Yes, there is a boy. The Nubile One. No, I have no idea what category to put him in. You have to appreciate a guy who shows up to your place with a mini-keg and a set of glasses (he doesn't like that we only drink out of mugs). Yes, some boundaries need to be set because I cannot be with someone 24/7 like he apparently can. But no, that does not mean I'm pulling my usual Destroy-the-Nice-Guy routine. I know it well and it has not served me in the past and so I'm trying to ride the melt; but if I invite you over on a Friday night, that does not give free clearance to stay until Monday. Especially if you haven't brought a toothbrush. Somehow I will try to find the happy medium of it all because I like him and he is good to me and probably the first good idea I've had in the realm of men in a very long time. Perhaps ever. Except for the fact that it's a gamble showing up to any bar with him because I'm not sure if they card. So we'll see. There's that. And men reach their sexual peak at 18/19, so might as well cash in, since I never did when I was 18/19. And so there's that as well. His skin is always warm and I like how my hand feels in his. But I have no idea where it's going. Basically, it all just makes me feel dizzy. Booze and drugs also help with the dizzy as well.

My big sister Amy was in town and we had a lovely time, I dare say. Brings back a bit of shame for ruining my family's visit in 2004, but if they came out here now, it would have been a different story. Before my life was in shambles, and these days, I'm pretty happy with things (and not just because I'm getting some). I have friends that I trust and love; while my job drives me nuts a lot, at least it is more stable than temping and I know I will have a job in the morning; though it's still very cold, winter is on its last legs; more importantly, I've forgiven myself for a lot of the behavior that I felt so guilty and ashamed about. It took a while to get there, but I finally feel I have solid ground beneath my feet and since Amy is the more neurotic of the Taylor Clan, it's good that I could be in a good place when she was here, otherwise it could have made the Disaster 2004 Visit look like a trip to Disney World.

Us Taylor women all love us some Dorothy Parker. Anyone who reads this knows I do, but it's a family thing as well. And Ms. Parker was known to drink and booze with her fellow writers at the Algonquin Hotel. The one and only thing Amy and I planned to do on her visit was to go get a drink at the Algonquin and bathe in the ghost of Ms. Parker. We go and it's really a lovely place--they've kept that Old World feel with deep greens and dark wood and you can almost feel Prohibition lurking around the corner. It was the one time I was sad that you can't smoke anywhere in New York anymore because it is the kind of place that in order to complete its atmosphere, it needs a dim haze of smoke around it. We realize this place is going to be redonkulously expensive, but it is going to be our one splurge and we felt it had to be done.

We look at the menu. There is a Dorothy Parker vodka martini. Well, done. Now we know what we're drinking. There's also a Dorothy Parker burger (three mini burgers and some fries--why Dorothy Parker would need three little burgers I have no idea, but we had Amy's friend with us so it sort of worked out perfectly). And so now we have our food.

Our drinks arrive (we all got the Parker). We raise our glasses and I say (from our Patron Saint):

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

We clink glasses and enjoy our drinks. Dorothy would have made fun of us for being so sentimental; but then again, we're talking about a lady who would NEVER order the martini that we did, because she's the type to not mix the vodka with anything, just drink it straight from the bottle. And if she made fun of us, I'd be sure to give her a jab that at least drinking is legal these days, so she can take her bathtub gin and suck it.

And then she would.

Dorothy Parker is awesome.

It was a perfect New York moment.

And right now, my sister is downing her Xanax to prepare her for her flight back to Texas. Ms. Parker would enjoy that as well.