New Game: Cat? or Boy?

From the chapters of Me and My Ridiculously Adorable Boyfriend Files:

I tease him about how he always says the right answer, and not in a way that seems like he was trained to respond robotically to my tests. But he'll say something and I'll just say that it was the right answer. He'll reply that he didn't know he was being tested (Oh, naive boy, you're always being tested). But we were chatting online and last night was the first time we've slept apart in a while. I told him that I wasn't quite sure how to wake up without morning sex. His reply:

"Well, at least you're not sore."

I told him that was the WRONG answer. The perfect boyfriend in my head would have said "Yeah, it was terrible waking up without you." Stupid real boyfriends never match up to the imaginary ones. Though he does come close in a lot of ways. I decided it was unfair to subtract from his score when he wasn't aware of being tested, so I put it in test form.

After spending a night apart, do you:

A) Use the chance to change your name and move far, far away?
B) Lament the time apart?
C) Tell your girlfriend that the alter you created for her wasn't enough, put a stray hair of hers on your head and a shirt that she left at your place and dance around pretending to be her?
D) Eat more veggies?

[Correct answer is B, though D is always a good idea]

He agrees with B, but said it would be a waste to let all my shed hair go to waste [yeah, I'm a shedder]. I told him that pretending to be me was scary, but making a Carrie doll is perfectly acceptable. Totally normal. He said that he couldn't handle a mini-Carrie because it would be too cute, he implodes as it is when he looks at me.

I think this is the best statement I ever got from a boy. Not because he says I'm cute, but I absolutely adore that he went with "implode." It is by far my favorite release of mass energy.

Conor thinks it's sweet how we are around each other. Spencer says it makes him sick. To be fair, Spencer's been witness to more of the making out. I try to be as chaste as I can in our living room, but it's hard. He's REALLY cute, folks. Dreamy, even. I think Spencer's just jealous because he really wants to make out with Swetus, too.

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I shall now call attention to the new link I've put up here. It's Neighbor's blog!! Hoozah! I call attention to it because he is actually getting PAID to write it. But it's dependant on how many hits he gets on it. So I don't care if you actually read it or not, but it would be cool if every once in a while, you clicked on it and knew you were helping a starving (at least emotionally) paralegal who wants to be a writer get ONE step closer to his dream.

That, and he is pretty funny. He writes on occasion for one of my favorite sites, McSweeneys. Here's a classic Neighbor piece. And while this isn't McSweeneys, I have to agree with some of the logic in this piece. So check out his blog yo, and help pay for his drug habit!!! [I am slightly sad that this tips everyone off to what Neighbor's real identity is, you know, besides Neighbor, but these are the things we do for our friends.]

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That's all. Mondays suck. But at least we have Jack Bauer to fix that right around 9pm. And I'll be with Neighbor and Swetus and everyone else I give a fake name to on this thing.

Oh, and while I don't think it's as cool or adorable as Panda Cam, Spencer has fallen in love with Eagle Cam. Enjoy.