For Your Love is Better Than Wine (Part 2)

We left off: Everything seemed to go wrong, then everything went so right. The only thing that would have made it absolutely perfect for me was if the rain had brought a warm front with it. But that's a small favor to ask in the midst of more blessings than I can count.

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Wedding receptions, I'm convinced, are the best and worst ideas about weddings. Open bars really do tempt the Fates.

But don't be looking at me. I was practically an angel. At least when it came to drinking. Because of course, I took a special smoke break at one point--this is me we're talking about. I think during the course of the evening, I had about 6 drinks, which was enough to give me a pleasant buzz and not enough to have me sobbing under the table. Though after everything had gone so well at the ceremony, I don't think that would have been a problem. I was just happy to be there. But it is hard when you are in a room with at least two people who have hurt you deeply, however far removed you are from it now. There was laughing and pool and I always had a dance partner. Spring's dad took a liking to me, and not in a creepy old man way. But he had mentioned something to Spring a while back being concerned about the woman she was becoming in New York and it had hurt her at the time. I found it somewhat shocking, since I cannot be prouder to call someone my friend. So I pulled him aside to let him know that. That she is a woman who is incredibly and deeply loved by many people in that room, especially me, and that he raised a fine daughter. I probably should have said it earlier when he was more sober because he looked at me and said,

"You're VIVACIOUS!"

Why, thank you sir. I do what I can. If he had said FABULOUS, I might have kissed him right there on the spot (Year of the Fabulous!).

I had a fun time playing a little pool and getting taught a few pool tips from Spring's niece and nephew. I always feel bad for kids at things like these. All there was to do for them was play pool and sort of run around. They'll discover the joys of drinking later. But they were very cool kids, indeed, if not a little hyper.

Chris and Spring's first dance as man and wife was "Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies. And you have now stumbled upon Reason #109238159.3 why I love them. I danced with all my dates that evening. I should mention that Devon and Conor had taken the time to pick outfits that matched my dress. Conor looked very handsome, and Devon just looked fucking hot. Aron is not so good with the more formal-type wear, but he made up for it in spades by interpretive dancing with me (and Spring dad jumped in by sprinkling Baby's Breath on my head while we did it). Aron also knows how to do lifts, and he would swing me around like a ragdoll and while I was having a blast, the vain creature that I am was concerned for the safety pins holding my dress together. Don't want to reveal how padded we had to make the top of that thing. I normally hate push-up bras, I consider them to be false advertising, but we did what we could in the time that we had.

It was all love and joy. For all the shitty things that go on in the world: all the pain, the treachery, sorrow, war, death, and destruction, love is the one thing that in its purity is the greatest gift we have as human beings. And should always be celebrated. I was lucky enough to be a part of such a celebration, and incredibly grateful that I could be a part of celebrating this love in particular. It is a good thing. My friends know me well, though. They know that even with smiles and laughter and quips that I can hide a great deal of pain behind it all. I suppose in that way, I can be a pretty good liar. Jeremy pulled me aside briefly at one point, discussing some matter at hand and asked me if I was alright. I said everything's great.

"No, I mean, are you alright?"

He wants to know if I'm sad or upset by having to be around the Unmentionables. He was one of the ones who held me while I cried when I was going through it. He saw how badly I hurt from it all. I remember the night he did so quite vividly. I have been close with Sharon for a little while now, but it was the first time I considered Jeremy to be a close friend as well. And he's an amazing man to have in your corner. I was incredibly touched that he thought to ask.

I smile.

"I'm fine. I really am."

And I wasn't lying and that was a great feeling.

[I would like to mention here that Jeremy caught the garter. When Sharon didn't catch the bouquet, she looked at Spring and yelled, "That wasn't even CLOSE!" I had been standing right next to Yvette, who did catch the bouquet. I went up to Spring after and told her she should have just pegged Sharon with the damn thing. Spring laughed and said, "You're right, but don't think I didn't see you actually DUCK to avoid that." Heh. I totally did.]

The nice thing about being with a good guy, such as Swetus, is that the way he treats me is the way I should have always demanded. But never knew how good it felt to be respected, admired, and adored since I had never experienced it. As much as I thought I was in love before, I was settling so much to get my heart there that my feelings from that time seemed more false than they ever had before when I saw the Unmentionable again. I hope that no matter how things go with Swetus, I will always expect as much from the next guy. I've earned it, I think. So nothing about the past appealed to me in the least, except to remind me of how low I had gotten and to be proud of how far I have come (with a TON of help from my friends).

Later in the evening, everyone was well liquored when it came to toast time. Chris' brother Aaron gave a speech that made Chris, and almost everyone else, cry like little girls [not me, though--MASCARA! VANITY!]. I always find it sweet how willing Chris is to cry. It doesn't effect his masculinity in any way. He's an emotional guy, but he's also a RAWK star. I'm impressed with how close of a relationship he and his brother have, and this is coming from a girl who's incredibly close with her sister as well. But you get the feeling from watching those two that they were the kind of kids that probably had their own language growing up. And probably still speak it to each other. Spring's dad went next, and I imagine this has to be a hard task for a father to do when his little girl is getting married. The booze also didn't help. Because he seemed to take on a lifetime of memories of Spring as a little girl to try to encapsulate this one moment, but instead he just started about 10 different stories that were left hanging in the air. In essence, though, what I think he was trying to say is that all her life, Spring has been fearless. And I think if you're ever going to be successful in matters of the heart, fearlessness is the key element. Because you are working against your own past, your own failures, your own fears. And basically, you have to give that terror the finger and do what you feel is right in that moment. But I understood what her dad was aiming for (maybe more than a lot of people in the room) and it touched me while my makeup still held.

I didn't even speak to the Unmentionables the whole time. I didn't want to. For a moment I was sad that it all turned out like this, that I lost two people I considered friends. But had they been real friends to me, the situation would have never happened, so I guess in the end it's better because I saw them for what they are. I have real, amazing, brilliant and diverse friends who love me despite of myself. And they're douchebags. Douchebags who kept getting the groom shots and shots and more booze and left before the reception was over. Leaving us with a very drunk Chris.

And here's where the story takes a turn for the worse. But that will have to come tomorrow in Part 3. HA HA--SUCKERS!!!