on phelgm and time...

I'm sick. I felt it coming on yesterday and drank orange juice like it was going out of style. But alas, finally all my debauchery had caught up with me and I feel like shit. Which sucks, because I have to go out tonight. Abby will never forgive me otherwise.

I posted a passage about time and the relevance of lifespan on LiveJournal. I'm not going to repeat it here, this journal serves a different purpose, but time is all around me.

My oldest sister left for England to live with my uncle for a while. He married my aunt when they were young and were only married about a year before she died of luekemia. He never married again. He's barely even dated. And I wonder if he knew there were 100 extra years to live (longer lifespan) if he would be so reluctant to take that risk of loss. I would like to think that he would not, but if there is only one fault in my uncle, it would be cowardice. At least in these sorts of matters.

It makes me think of what we cling to from our past, and how faulty that memory can be. What is monumentally important to us is just a passing moment to someone else. Whose memory is right? Well, they both are, and yet the same moment can mean vastly different things depending on the perspective you are coming from. And how does that affect our present and our future?

And if we cast off all those things that we cling to, is that not just as bad as holding on too tightly? Where is the balance between what has passed and what will be? We balance on the pinhead of the present and are constantly in danger of falling off too far into the past or the future.

But this could all just be the ramblings of a fevered mind.