It's more than Nature; It's like My Destiny...

Three guesses where I am.

I'm totally at church.

Oh wait, that's hilarious.

Yup. Work.

It sucks because Robert sooooo gets lucky with the on-call thing. He was on-call when we had our epic until 7am Monday. Not lucky in the sense of WHEEE! but he was already working. Me? I'd be home if it wasn't for this on-call business. Not so lucky, I'd say.

Last night I went to a Ghost Runner show. It had been a while, and it's probably very tragic that as much as the emotional side of me would recommend staying away from all of them forever, I happen to really, really love their music. Including their new stuff.

But it was strange. It was the most sober I had ever been at one of their shows (I'm not stupid, I knew I'd be on call tonight), and yet, it was the most comfortable I felt. Either they're used to my presence, or I'm finally getting used to theirs. I am very new to the seeing-people-who-you-have-seen-naked again, so maybe and probably most of the awkwardness falls on my door. And then I'd compensate for my own mix-mashed stew of emotions by drowning them in alcohol and doing something so ridiculous it takes away from the fact that I've seen them naked. Hard to think about the guys that have seen you naked when you're throwing up in the street or losing your wallet.

But not last night. I still don't really know how to talk to people I've slept with, but I think I'm getting there.

And it was Sharon's birthday and we jumped around and danced and Spring kicked my ass in pool and the band before was the most painful collection of noise I have ever heard and it united us all in our utter pain of listening to them. Chris had a theory that they were trying to get a rise out of people by playing sheer noise, like it was a Theatre of Cruelty experiment or something (here, for those of you who don't know). I personally thought that they had to have been warming up, until I realized that their warming up wasn't ending and no real music was ever going to play. Sleazy postulated that even if they wanted to get a rise out of the audience and have someone throw something, then we'd all win. They'd achieve their goal, and hopefully we'd be able to take out at least one of the members to stop them from offending our ears.

I laughed. I danced. I listened. I stayed sober. I didn't lose anything. I didn't cry. I didn't say more than I meant to (though sometimes it is hard because I feel like I'm carrying a very ill-hidden secret around with me).

I came home and for all the drama that this life has brought me, I was happy to be a part of it. I love these kids. We are fucked up beyond belief, but we have each other's backs, and that's saying something.

And I come to work and I'm sleepy and I realize I absolutely adore the people I work with here. The job itself is obviously not so great, seeing as I would like nothing more than to be at home in my PJ's, but I'm making decent overtime and the other night? Not that bad. We all went mad at about 2am and I actually have to say I had a shitload of fun. Not the actual working part, but when we'd break, we'd get silly and have dance breaks and act like total asses. But we have similar senses of humor and I can't tell you how much that counts in the end. I'd be more miserable at a better job with worse people. So it's okay. It's not a place you can stay too long at, the hours don't allow for it. The pace will kill you. But for now, though the hours are long and my body is weary, the pay is good and the people are great.

All in all, I'm pretty happy with my life. I desperately want to get laid, but I guess a girl can't get too greedy, eh?

All in good time, I guess. Though I have never been known for my patience.

Got a job, got a life,
got a four-door and a faithless wife.
Got those nice copper pipes,
got an ex, got a room for the night.
Aren't you such a catch? What a prize!
Got a body like a battle axe...
Love that perfect frown, honest eyes
We ought to buy you a Cadillac