And you Melted, Started to Talk Crazy...

This on call thing helps me keep up with my blogging, but man, does it blow.

I don't know if it's a matter of principle, maybe it's the rebel in me that refuses to give up my weekend for work and so I end up getting as drunk as I normally would and then enduring the most hellish hangovers while already in on the weekend. In the end, I suppose I'm only punishing myself. But we all know how much I love to punish myself.

So whatever. I'm stationed at my desk, clutching my Vitamin Water like it's the Holy Grail and praying that they don't actually expect me to do anything because the level of functioning right now is laughable.

Friday I got drunk off just a few beers while making CDs for our fundraiser. That was a bit odd, since over the course of the night, I'd only had 3 or 4 beers. I stood up from the computer and suddenly felt like I had just done a power hour or something. It was odd. But I raided Flatplex for music (since if you're gonna have boys that will always love their music more than you, you might as well take the music) and so at least today I'm sitting here with loads and loads of new good stuff.

Right now:

I woke up alarmed
I didn't know where I was at first
Just that I woke up in your arms
And almost immediately I felt sorry
Cause I didn't think this would happen again
No matter what I could do or say
Just that I didn't think this would happen again
With or without my best intentions
And whatever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy that tries to win you over?
And whatever happened to a boyfriend
The kind of guy who makes love cause he's in it?

Thanks, Liz. Before Liz all went crappy and stuff. Exile in Guyville could be the name of my memoir if it already wasn't someone's album. Damn! Beat me to it.

I am gonna spend another year alone. It's true.

On Saturday, I lounged around and read Harry Potter. While listening to my new stock of tasty music goodness, Ani came along and I got the overwhelming urge to call Ashlee. Luckily that's one of my urges that I DON'T have to suppress, so I went ahead. Talking to her makes me feel sane. In our goofy insanity. I don't know. But somehow she grounds me more than anybody else. I was feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden with the intensity of Ani and the feeling of "Holy crap, is this really my life?"

Seriously. Is this really my life? I often don't recognize myself. Same hair, I guess.

Now:

I am the son
and the heir
of nothing in particular

God, I love that song. I think it might be the only reason why I still watch Charmed.

Today is going to suck. And I'm only an hour in.

Boo.

So our fundraiser was last night. I was really disappointed in the turnout because we took much more care into it. At the last minute, they decided one of the raffle prizes was a lap dance from Yours Truly. Well, I was planning on dancing like a ho anyway, might as well bring in some money for the show.

I did 2. The guy that won the raffle and then some other dude wanted a dance. Aw, fuck it. I feel bad for Guy 2. I was too drunk at that point, and I think I almost killed him. AWKWARD.

Whatever. Chris and Spring came and I was really touched. We would have far more money if we let Spring do the lap dances. For reals, yo. But, per usual, the verbal vomit abounds around them. A blessing and curse that I feel really comfortable around them.

Whatever. They're good kids. They're better than they're given credit for.

Whatever.

My brain is totally fried.

Ugh. Maybe it's time to smoke a cigarette.

I'm gonna die alone. Boo.

[ed note: That's the hangover talking, dear. Go smoke.]

You're right. I feel better already.