Love in the Time of Cholera

So the verdict came in yesterday:

--No, we didn't go to trial again. At least not yet.

--No, I haven't heard about my credit card application (I keep getting turned down because I've never had a credit card before--how do you expect me to build good credit if you won't give me any?)

--No, I'm not pregnant (not that I was worried, in fact, this hasn't been a topic of conversation in my life for a while, I just thought I'd throw that in there to throw you off. And then tell you about it. Which then defeats any purpose in trying to throw you off in the first place. But that's just how I roll).

Lee has MONO.

Ouch.

So I'll be covering for her for at least another week. It's okay. I could use the overtime.

Except for the fact that I've had daily contact with the girl for a while, and I'm pretty sure we've shared cigarettes and maybe a soda or two.

I can't decide whether or not I want to come down with it. A disease that just makes you want to sleep? While on paid disability? With HBO on Demand? With air-conditioning?

That sounds like the best disease, since...well, since...oh nevermind. I think this might be the ONE.

I have been exhausted (and for proof, look no further than every entry I've written in the past two weeks), and my throat feels a little weird (but I smoked like a chimney on Saturday). Today I felt a little feverish. And I'm 99% sure that it is the hypochondriac in me and the girl who secretly wants a vacation (by vacation, I mean coma). I bought a thermometer over lunch, so I can be sure.

I took it:

97.7

Well, that's kind of normal. Seems a little low, but obviously not a fever.

I wait a little while. I had just eaten.

I take it again:

97.3

ACK! My body temperature is rapidly decreasing. Which only goes to prove my theory that I'm slowly dying inside. Instead of my heart melting, it's freezing up.

I've seen better days
I've been the star of many plays
I've seen better days
And the bottom drops out

Bring it, mono. My health insurance kicked in Monday and I'm paying my cable bill tonight. So just bring it.