Waiting for Clouds and Storms and for Safety

I actually got off work while the sun was still out. I didn't really know what to do with the extra time. I'm used to coming home--an hour of TV, an hour of reading, play on my blackberry a little, drink a beer or two, smoke a cigarette or two, and off to bed!

Rinse. Repeat.

I finished reading Love in the Time of Cholera and moved on to Pale Fire by Nabakov. I'd forgotten how much I always loved reading for pleasure. I remember how reading Nabakov makes me feel like I'm waltzing. And Nabakov will always remind me of Ashlee.

But now I have multiple hours. Hmmm...I decided to climb up unto our roof and enjoy the sunset.

It was a lovely day, in direct opposition to conditions elsewhere in our country. We're coming up on the four year anniversary of 9/11 and it's hard to imagine for me. We have a lovely roof that overlooks lower Manhattan. I have never seen the Twin Towers or how the skyline looked before. I have no sense of the chaos that is occuring in New Orleans. It's like trying to imagine what a room looks like with the door closed.

From our roof, you can see the Statue of Liberty as well. From the distance, it looks like she's giving Brooklyn the finger. I think that's utterly brilliant.

I had to share the moment. I call everyone I can possibly think of to chat with. Very few are home. I end up managing to get a hold of Amy. I remember the last time we talked in depth was during all those hurricanes last year that hit Florida. We agreed the world had to be ending. And here we were, a year later, saying the same thing. I don't know what it is about her that makes me want to call her when the world seems to be going all to Hell.

She just finished reading a book that proved a certain bread mold that caused massive hallucinations was probably responsible for the Salem Witch Trials. And every other outbreak of "witchcraft." I try to recommend Love in the Time of Cholera.

"Well, I kinda wanted to read this book on the history of murder."

Of course you did, Amy. Of course.

And then Kristen called and I broke off with Amy. We discuss what we'd like to do while she's here. I'm really excited to see her, and even more glad that a lot of my melancholy has passed and I won't ruin another one of her visits. We're going to go to Coney Island. I've never been, and I think it's exactly what I need. Kinda away from the city, but not really. A vacation from immediate surroundings without feeling too detached or like I'm running away.

By the time I'm finished talking with everyone, the sky has gone dark and the sun is well past set. There's a gentle breeze and I lay on the curve of my roof and look up at the cloudless night. I make a wish on what I thought was a star, but after a time the light grew brighter and bigger and then moved. I realized I just wished on a plane. I wonder if you wish on a plane, if you have to go to that plane's destination in order for your wish to come true. Knowing my luck, I'd probably have to go to Detroit; but in my head, I dreamt of Prague.

I smile. I exhale. I get over myself.

Happy Weekend!