Heaven is a Place on Earth

Not even the slightest bit ashamed to be listening to this. You all know you loved it back in the day.

I'm really done with Monday.

Office Crush is kinda boring, but really cute. Talking is overrated anyway. That's where all the trouble starts. I'm going to use mating calls from now on. And I imagine it will be slightly similar to the "Angry Platypus" noise I make. Take some of the guess work out of it. I call, whoever comes, and we go from there. We are the only creatures on the planet who can fuck up and complicate the one thing that every other species simplifies--the procreation of it.

But I imagine that dolphins wouldn't mind a few candles and roses every once in a while. But I imagine they can't be lit--you know, being underwater and all. And they've pretty much covered the bath-salt area. I wonder if any of those weird dolphin noises are actually their attempts at a singing karaoke version of "Let's Get it On."

I hope that if I work really hard on myself and do some deep soul-searching, I will grow up to be a penguin.



Minus the freakin' cold, they've got a pretty sweet thing going on.