I'll be Waiting with a Gun and a Pack of Sandwiches

I'm not going to reveal the reference there. You should know it.

Ah, Day 2. Couldn't take off any more work, so conveniently enough, my friend Juliet had a car. It is not difficult to find passengers (for those of you NOT in New York, the city has mandated that anyone traveling in Manhattan below 96th--where it starts being more commercial--cannot have a car with less than 4 people). It was an adventure. A slow-moving, I can't believe I woke up this early, kill me now, adventure.

Here's what annoys me [well, many things about this situation annoy me, but I'm talking commute-specific].

We are all aware that an estimated 7 million commuters have been left without a ride. Everyone is finding cabs, carpools, shuttles and whatnot. I think it's safe to assume that coming into the city, we're all going to be experiencing a bit of traffic, heavier in some places than others. And, for the most part, I would say the city has turned fairly generous. Robert got offered a ride from a dude in a van and just jumped in. Thus, turning the world into opposite day. I can't imagine any other time that you would just hop into a van in New York (or anywhere else) from some dude that offers you a ride. We let a dude named Jorge jump in our car just to ride across the Brooklyn Bridge.

But come on people, we're all in the same boat. I hated when we'd be caught in a particular section of gridlock and something like THIS happens: No one's moving. NO ONE. And then some asshole gets it in his head that laying on his horn is somehow going to fix the situation. Dude. Look at this city. This is a city that doesn't drive that is being forced to. And I can't be certain about it, but 7 million extra people on the roads are going to cause some back up and some people aren't going to move for a while. You honking isn't going to solve anything. I highly doubt the traffic we are sitting in right now is because at the front, two dudes in their cars don't know the light is green. That is the only time I think it's acceptable to honk, and even then, only a light tap to say, "Hey! Put down the bong! The light is green!" Laying on your horn for 20 seconds does not get rid of the 7 million extra people. It will not make your car sprout wings and fly over the traffic. It only serves to abuse the ears of people who cannot move to escape it. And then what? You're still in traffic! Wow. That was incredibly helpful. Now you just have a ton of weary commuters who hate you and want to push your car over the bridge.

Chill out. We're all in this together, kids. Put on something mellow--maybe something in a Radiohead, or perhaps an Enya might fit for the older generations-- light a cigarette, light whatever you have to (though I think a crack pipe might make you a bit more agitated), but relax. You're not getting into work on time, and I don't care what kind of email/notice they gave you about it; deep down, they know you're not getting there on time, too. So lay off your horn and let's enjoy the view, shall we? The Brooklyn Bridge is really quite lovely when you take the time to notice it. And looking at the long line of cars ahead of us, we got nothing BUT time.

Now if you happen to have a spare potty, I drank a lot of coffee. I suppose I could hang my ass off the bridge. But that's my problem, not yours.


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on a random sidenote:

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I believe all of my problems will be solved once I win my bid on this jacket on eBay: