There's the asshole who did this to me....

I'm glad I got to see Kristen and Amy before they left. My life is so poorly timed, and if the gods were kind, I would have been healthier and we could have hung out a lot more. But, seperate from the gods, it was my own poor decisions that made me ill and kept me from them.

I have huge regret for the life I've been living the past month. I have not respected myself. I have not been a good friend. I've been a worse sister and a worse daughter. I have let this boy infect me with god-knows-what and it has brought my happiness to a grinding halt.

I need to get out of New York. I need to get my shit together. I need money. I need, I need...something other than this.

I need to feel human again. How does one go about that?